A Guide to Liberal Breeds

If you've taken the Liberal Identity Quiz, this list of Liberal Breeds from How to Win a Fight with a Conservative will help you see how you compare to other liberals.

  • Peace Patrollers, also known as anti-war liberals or neo-hippies—believe in putting an end to American imperial conquest, stopping wars that have already been lost, and supporting our troops by bringing them home.
  • Eco-Avengers, also known as environmentalists or tree huggers—believe in saving the planet from the clutches of air-fouling, oil-drilling, earth-raping conservative fossil fools.
  • Social Justice Crusaders, also known as rights activists—believe in equality, fairness, and preventing neo-Confederate conservative troglodytes from rolling back fifty years of civil rights gains.
  • Working Class Warriors, also known as blue-collar Democrats—believe that the little guy is getting screwed by conservative greed-mongers and corporate criminals, and you’re not going to take it anymore.
  • Reality-Based Intellectualists, also known as the liberal elite—are proud members of what’s known as the reality-based community, where science, reason, and non-Jesus-based thought reign supreme.
  • New Left Hipsters, also known as MoveOn.org liberals, Netroots activists, or Daily Show fanatics—believe that if we really want to defend American values, conservatives must be exposed, mocked, and assailed for every fanatical, puritanical, warmongering, Constitution-shredding ideal for which they stand.

Back to the Liberal Identity Quiz


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Revised & Updated for the 2012 Election!